


You're a Nightmare, I'm a Disaster

by lululawrence



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banter, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Miscommunication, No Smut, Pining, Teasing, Writer Nick, bookshop au, condescending strangers to lovers, well it's more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:47:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21534706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: As Nick scanned the shelves, his eyes caught on a bright blue binding.Snooki, it read,A Shore Thing.“Oh my God,” Nick mumbled, trying not to laugh as he picked it up. He’d watched bits and pieces ofJersey Shoreway back in the day.Without bothering to look any further around the store, he headed up to the counter where Blue eyes was watching him. Nick cleared his throat nervously and set the book on the counter and the man immediately flashed him a look of disdain.“Seriously? Out of everything we have available, you chose the book we special ordered for a customer?”“Well, it can’t be that bad if someone specifically requested it, right?” Nick said, trying to keep a teasing tone.“Why do you think we still have it if it was a special order?” the man asked with a scoff. “They returned it after reading something like three pages.”Nick frowned at the book. “Well that doesn’t seem very fair.”Or the one where Nick is a writer, Louis works in a bookshop, and things don't exactly start off on the right foot, but they might just end on it.
Relationships: Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 21
Kudos: 114
Collections: The Tomlinshaw Fic Exchange 2019





	You're a Nightmare, I'm a Disaster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lounonymouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lounonymouse/gifts).



> Lounonymouse! I loved your prompts and had the hardest time choosing one, but I hope this fic is everything you were looking for when you offered the bookshop prompt. I had so much fun coming up with a Writer Nick persona and exploring all the ways that the entire thing might play out. I hope I did justice to what you gave me!
> 
> Massive thanks go to my betas and brit pick, [Bri](https://briannamarguerite.tumblr.com), [Nic](https://louandhazaf.tumblr.com), and [Chelle](https://aslowmotionaccident.tumblr.com). Any remaining mistakes are 100% my own. 
> 
> Thank you to the mods as well, you were glorious this entire process and I adore you!
> 
> The title is at least partially inspired by the lyrics of Kill My Mind by our very own Louis Tomlinson. I don't own any of the characters that exist in real life in this story, please don't share it with anyone associated with them, etc etc etc. This is a work of fiction that came from my own mind, and without express permission I do not allow translations or reposting of this work.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!

Nick hated this part. The waiting part. It was like Dr. Seuss said, the waiting place wasn’t for him because all people did there was wait. 

Nick wasn’t a patient person. Waiting wasn’t one of his strong suits.

But alas, wait he must. The editing process for his next book was finally done and other than random approvals over cover art and such, Nick had nothing to do until it was on the shelves. That’s why he finally showered and forced himself out of his flat. He had no idea where he was going, but he knew he needed to go somewhere, so he figured he’d just start walking. Actually, he remembered hearing about a new cafe not too far away, so he figured he’d go check it out. 

He’d only been walking around ten minutes when he paused. Across the street was a bookshop that he’d always wanted to check out and hadn’t taken the time to yet. He always had an excuse ready to go for why he couldn’t stop by, but now that he was in the waiting place with his next book, he had none.

Nick doubled back to the closest zebra crossing and walked into the small shop. It was like many bookshops that he had stumbled over since moving to London. It was obvious it hadn’t started out as a bookshop, but there was something about this one that drew Nick to it. Something about the lighting, colours, and the layout just  _ felt _ different.

“Welcome to Reader’s Alcove,” someone said from behind the counter. 

Nick couldn’t see anyone, but he trusted it wasn’t a ghost. Then again, a bookshop ghost didn’t seem too out of line for these parts.

“Let me know if you need help finding anything.”

It was then a man popped up from behind the counter. He was absolutely real and one hundred percent gorgeous. His eyes alone had Nick wanting to write him into one of his books.

Giving him a hopefully not too eager smile, Nick nodded and started walking around. 

He was pleased to see they had fairly simple genre markings, but one of them was an LGBT+ section. Upon perusal, Nick tried not to smile too wide when he saw every one of his previous books were available. He wasn’t the biggest name in fiction writing, but he liked to think he had carved at least a small space for himself amongst those who read such things. He was one of the few writers out there with his particular brand of tongue-in-cheek humour mixed with realism about life as a member of the LGBT community.

It had all started when Nick needed to create a website for a class in Uni. He’d decided to create the “Fiction Writing Forum” where he would be the only participant. He chose the pseudonym Nathaniel Goodall, and began to write up ridiculous stories about what it was like for a newly out, ready to experience uni life to its fullest, gay man.

To his surprise, the website actually took off. Soon he was being contacted about publishing some of his shorter works in LGBT+ journals and magazines, and from there his name— or, well, his  _ pen name _ — became known in the community. Within two years, he had a book deal and he’d been writing ever since.

This time— this  _ book— _ was different, though. His books had always been somewhat autobiographical. As a gay man, he didn’t really know how else he was supposed to come up with some of the ridiculous situations his characters found themselves in if it weren’t for his own life experiences and those of his friends. The new book, the one Nick had temporarily titled  _ Baby Gay _ as he’d worked on it, was a bit closer to home. 

It still held his same humour, of course. His publishers would have had his neck if he hadn’t stayed on brand at least somewhat. This one was very much a coming of age story, though. One of self discovery. A touch of self loathing. A lot of feelings and confusion and identity crises. Basically, the entirety of Nick’s teenage years all wrapped up in a character he’d named Peter.

And that was why Nick was in the bookstore, needing to distract himself. What better way to keep his mind off his own upcoming publication of all his inner workings and thoughts and feelings than to read someone else’s?

Finally wandering to the other side of the shop, Nick found some books he didn’t usually tend towards: biographies. Non-fiction was rarely written in a way that Nick could actually enjoy, and therefore he would generally keep as far away as he could, but he was feeling sensitive— like he was putting all of himself on the line— with his upcoming book, so he thought maybe someone’s actual biography could make him feel better.

As he scanned the shelves, his eyes caught on a bright blue binding.  _ Snooki,  _ it read,  _ A Shore Thing. _

“Oh my God,” Nick mumbled, trying not to laugh as he picked it up. He’d watched bits and pieces of  _ Jersey Shore _ way back in the day. There was something about that particular brand of train wreck that kept him mesmerised. That, and the abs on all the guys.

Snooki had always been one step above the others when it came to being ridiculous, though, and therefore was naturally Nick’s favourite. He knew this was exactly the kind of distraction he needed. 

Without bothering to look any further around the store, he headed up to the counter where Blue eyes was watching him. Had he been watching Nick the entire time? He usually had fairly good radar with regards to pretty boys and when he had caught their attention. Apparently not this time.

Nick cleared his throat nervously and set the book on the counter and the man immediately flashed him a look of disdain.

“Seriously? Out of everything we have available, you chose the book we special ordered for a customer?”

“Well, it can’t be that bad if someone specifically requested it, right?” Nick said, trying to keep a teasing tone. There was something about this man that made Nick want to impress him.

“Why do you think we still have it if it was a special order?” the man, Louis according to his nametag, asked with a scoff. “They returned it after reading something like three pages.”

Frowning at the book, Nick said, “Well that doesn’t seem very fair. Who’s to say it doesn’t improve?”

“I can promise you it doesn’t improve,” Louis said. “If anything it gets worse. At least get something else to offset this and redeem yourself a little. I’ll give you a discount, even. Fifteen percent off the entire purchase.”

Chuckling, Nick ran his hand through his hair. He was a bit flustered, to be honest. He wasn’t used to being judged or criticised on his reading choices, especially by an employee of the shop he was frequenting.

“Does your boss know you harass the customers like this?”

“Yes, the boss knows,” Louis said with a smirk. “He actually discourages it, so I put on a nice face with people. I can’t do that here, though. Exceptions must be made.”

“So you’re saying it’s just because I’m special, is that it, Lewis?” Nick smirked, knowing already that Louis was just the type to get annoyed when his name was mispronounced.

“It’s pronounced  _ Louis, _ and you can keep telling yourself that if you want.” Sighing, Louis turned to the till and rang up the book. “You really aren’t going to get another?”

“Nah, I don’t think I am. But I am going to go get a coffee next door and start reading right away.” 

Nick wasn’t actually planning to do anything of the sort. He’d been to the cafe before, and he wasn’t particularly impressed with its coffee. There was the benefit of the cafe having a nice little window that allowed you to look into the bookshop, though, and that would mean Louis could see in to follow up with Nick reading as well.

“Oh God, not that place,” Louis groaned before reading off Nick’s total. “They only make that overly sugary shit that tastes horrible and can’t make a decent tea for their life.”

Nick tapped his card and held his hand out for the book. “Sounds incredible. I’ll have to go check them out right away.”

Louis handed over the book and rolled his eyes. Nick winked before turning around and heading to the door so he could once again change his plans and drink some below par coffee. If anything, he hoped it would keep Louis’ attention on him a little bit longer.

As soon as Nick placed his order, he chose a table where he could sit and have an easy view of Louis at the counter. Holding up the book and smiling, Nick couldn’t help but chuckle when Louis glared at him for a second before turning back to whatever book of his own that he was reading.

It took Nick ten minutes to realise Louis was not lying or holding back. The book really was that bad. Nick could not allow him to win, however, so he stayed at that table and drank the disgusting swill the coffee shop had given him instead of a macchiato and continued to wink and pretend he was entirely into the book every time he noticed Louis looking his way.

Which was fairly frequently, actually. Nick was quite loath to leave with that kind of attention on him, but he had a dinner date with a few friends in just a couple of hours, so he marked his page and sent a nod at Louis before leaving for home.

*~~***~~*

Nick hadn’t meant to return to the shop. There was just something about Louis that made him want to go back. Plus, he’d hated every minute of the Snooki book, but it had been exactly the distraction that he’d been looking for. Maybe he could find another similarly distracting book to work it’s magic. 

That said, Nick had exactly zero intention of letting Louis know he was right about the book. Nick might ask him for a recommendation at some point, though. For now, he wanted to continue to pick and choose his own and see what other reactions he could get out of Louis.

Nick shook his head at himself. He was being ridiculous. It was obviously a small shop, but he was sure Louis wasn’t the only employee. For all Nick knew, he’d never see Louis again upon returning.

He could hope, though.

Crossing the street, Nick couldn’t help the smile that was spreading across his face as he got closer to the bookshop. Maybe, if Louis was there again, he could go back to the cafe and find something made better than its disastrous macchiatos. Tease Louis some more. Nick was already addicted to the feel of the man’s eyes on him. That was dangerous, but sometimes Nick liked being reckless.

The door chimed as Nick entered again and a familiar voice said, “Welcome to Reader’s Alcove… oh. It’s you again.”

Nick chuckled as he waved and flashed a wide smile. “Yes, there’s just something about your charming personality that had me practically vibrating to come back.”

“I’m sure,” Louis said, popping his hip and eyeing Nick over his glasses. “You’re not returning the Snooki book?”

“Nope,” Nick said cheerfully as he veered over to the romance section. “It was everything I’d hoped for.”

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste, I suppose,” Louis mumbled, still loud enough for Nick to hear.

Humming in amusement, Nick looked to see if he could find a new Nora Roberts. He generally kept up with her, but he thought he remembered a new one coming out while he’d been in a writing haze. There was something about the way she wrote her books that made Nick feel like he was alive and reading something inherently naughty despite the fact he had just turned thirty-five and was more than old enough to be appreciating such things.

Maybe it was because he was also a man. He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was just that he wanted to see what Louis’ reaction would be when he brought a romance novel up to the counter.

It was probably that.

“Didn’t Nora Roberts have a new book out recently?” Nick asked as he bent down to read the titles. All of them were familiar so far. He had no idea how he was supposed to know which one was the new one at this rate. She really was incredibly prolific.

“Oh God,” Louis groaned. “Yes, unfortunately. I believe it’s called  _ Under Currents _ and you’ll actually find it in our new releases section. It came out over the summer, but we have a hard time keeping it in stock.”

“I’m assuming you don’t talk about it like this with everyone who comes in,” Nick said, sauntering over to the New Releases shelf. “I mean, what if I were an author? I can only imagine how you’d sell my books.”

“Excuse you,” Louis said, sounding actually offended. “I’m very good at my job and making sure people get books they enjoy in the genres they appreciate. I just feel there are far better options that you could go for other than those you’re choosing.”

“I’m sure,” Nick said, making a pleased sound when he finds the last copy of  _ Under Currents _ and snatches it up.

“Besides, if you were an author, I’d probably hide your books. I can only imagine what kind of tedium it would be to read one.”

“Oh, is that right?” Nick said, arching his brow and walking back to the counter. “So, do tell. What would you consider the height of literature? Aren’t books meant to be entertainment? If people are entertained, has the book not done its job?”

“Yes, of course,” Louis said, standing up from where he’d been slouched in order to wave his hands about. “That’s why I don’t complain about the fact that we actually stock some of these. It’s more that there are people out there who can take these same themes and ideas and paint them so much more realistically and vividly, yet they’re always overlooked! Rarely do I see a name on the bestseller lists that I think should be there. It’s just unfortunate that the large publishers seem to enjoy watering down what could be truly good and giving underwhelming options to the masses while the smaller publishers that are actually offering decent reading are struggling to continue with their heads above water.”

By the time Louis finished, he had a high blush on his cheeks and he looked almost embarrassed he’d just had that outburst. 

Nick couldn’t have that. He’d loved every second of what Louis had just said and had to agree.

“Touche,” he whispered. “I’d still like to try this watered down reading, though. Maybe next time I’ll try one of your recommendations.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at Nick like he was waiting for a caveat or for Nick to yell  _ Psych!! _ When he seemed convinced nothing like that would happen, he shifted to the side and cleared his throat, focusing on ringing Nick up.

Once he’d paid, Nick picked the book back up, gave Louis another wink, called out, “Cheers!” and then made his way next door.

Louis continued to study Nick through the window for the entire two hours he sat drinking a chalky cappuccino as he read the latest glory of a book by Ms Roberts.

Once again offering Louis a wave when he had to leave, Louis still didn’t smile, but he did give Nick a nod. He’d take it.

*~~***~~*

Nick didn’t mean for it to become a habit, a part of his newfound routine that he forged whilst stuck in this awful waiting place. But, it did. He now stopped by the bookshop three times a week and they were the highlights of his week. He loved bantering with Louis, seeing what exactly he could do when it came to the sharing of opinions just to irritate the man further. It was fun, and he was starting to think that Louis didn’t actually mind him so much either.

It had been a month since Nick had first stopped by, and he was running low in finding irritating and only somewhat entertaining books to get Louis ranting. Maybe it was finally time to see what Louis actually enjoyed and would recommend.

Walking into the shop, Nick smiled as Louis looked up from the book he was reading to shake his head.

“With as much as you come in here, I’m really starting to wonder about the state of your flat,” Louis teased. “You have to have run out of space on your bookshelves by now. Is that why you’re here now instead of yesterday? Had to make a run to IKEA to buy more?”

That made Nick pause. “Aww, did you miss me?”

Pleasure coiled in Nick’s belly as Louis’ cheeks flushed a little. He rolled his eyes and swept his fringe to the side before finally looking back at Nick.

“Of course I didn’t. I have to prepare myself to deal with your presence, don’t I? Make sure I’m emotionally ready to withstand your horrible reading choices, Nicholas.”

“You know, my friends call me Grimmy,” Nick said with a smile as he walked over to the counter.

“Who said we’re friends?” Louis shot back.

Snorting, Nick nodded but brought them back to the topic at hand. “Mmm, well. I was thinking that maybe you could recommend a book for me today, actually.”

That made Louis look up from where he’d been pretending to read his book again. Shock was clear on his face before he furrowed his brow.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes,” Nick said, chuckling. “Why is this so surprising?”

“You always seem to know exactly what you want before you even walk in,” Louis said, sounding unsure of himself, like Nick had just thrown him for a loop. “I just wasn’t expecting you to ever want a recommendation, is all.”

Smirking, Nick said, “I do actually listen to what you say sometimes, you know.”

“Sure, but I figured that was only when I was giving you the total you owed.”

Nick took in Louis, who was starting to look a bit more confident again. 

“So, do you actually have any recommendations?” Nick prodded. “I wasn’t just saying that to trip you up. I was actually going to choose something you suggested this time around.”

Louis studied Nick for a moment before saying, “I’m going to take a chance on you, Nicholas.”

Arching his brow, Nick rocked back onto his heels before rushing to catch up with where Louis was suddenly flitting to the side of the bookshop. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” Louis said, coming to a stop in front of their LGBT+ section. “See, I think that deep down, below all those shallow and meaningless reading preferences, is a man who could appreciate actual, interesting, contemporary literature.”

It was then that Louis picked up one of Nick’s own books from the shelf.

Nick had no idea what to do. He’d told Louis was in the finishing stages of a project that meant he didn’t really have much to do at the moment when Louis had questioned whether he actually had a job, but he hadn’t given many details. He hadn’t felt ready to explain everything to Louis just yet.

But now Louis was trying to sell him one of his own novels. He had to explain, didn’t he?

Opening his mouth as he tried to conjure  _ something _ up, he realised it really was a curse that he’d never allowed his publisher to put a photo of himself on the covers. If he’d only conceded on that one, single point, this entire situation likely wouldn’t have ever happened. Or at least things would have been even simpler to explain.

“Okay, now hear me out. I know that this author isn’t hugely known, especially to people like you who usually enjoy the vapid whining of celebrities, but his writing is incredible,” Louis said. “This was his third novel, and is one of my favourites he’s ever written. There’s rumours he’s got another book coming out soon, and I’m rereading all of his novels to gear up for it.”

“Really?” Nick asked, awestruck. He never would have guessed that Louis had read his books, much less enjoyed them enough to reread what he’d already released before a new book came out. “People actually do that, even when it’s not a series?”

“With Nathaniel’s books people do,” Louis said, eyes bright with excitement. “I’m telling you, you’ve never read someone with a voice as clear and strong as his. The way he describes the experiences of a gay man trying to navigate his way through life in his twenties and thirties is  _ so _ real. You know he’s lived at least some of this, that he understands. I’ve never found another writer who could capture life as a member of the community quite the way he can.”

Nick felt breathless, almost like he might pass out, but he couldn’t find a way to take a full breath.

Louis went on describing what he loved about the book he was still trying to convince Nick to buy and take a chance on, but Nick couldn’t focus. He’d received good reviews, of course. He loved interacting with his readers on Goodreads and Twitter, but he’d never actually met one in person. Well, outside of his mum and a handful of close friends that actually enjoyed his writing. This felt surreal and magical and entirely overwhelming.

“So? Think you’d be willing to give it a chance?”

Nick was still having a hard time breathing, so he just nodded. He couldn’t rightly say no at this point, could he? Besides, after hearing all the incredible things Louis said, Nick wasn’t sure he’d be able to spit out a coherent sentence even if he were to try to explain himself.

“Perfect. Let’s get you rung up so you can go next door and get started with your reading.”

Nick blinked furiously and nodded. “Great,” he managed to choke out before following Louis back to the counter.

Once he’d paid, Nick gave Louis a smile, tried to say thanks, and then rushed out of the bookshop. There was no way he was going to be able to go to the cafe today. He had to pull himself together, and he would have no chance of doing that with Louis’ piercing blue eyes on him, hoping for a positive reaction.

No. He’d have to go home and pretend to read the book on his own even while he figured out exactly how he’d tell Louis the truth the next time he went in.

*~~***~~*

“Grimmy!” Mary cheered in her overly bright voice. Nick hadn’t had his coffee yet and he was not prepared for her energy just yet. She was his publicist, though, and therefore an important person he shouldn’t ignore calls from, even at half eight in the morning.

“Hello, Mary,” Grimmy said, pushing his muesli away from him. It would be soggy by the time he finished the call anyway. He might as well just pour himself a new bowl once he was done with her. “Any actual news today?”

“I have excellent news, actually,” she said, sounding even more upbeat than usual. God, why couldn’t she learn to use email? 

“Oh, and what’s that?”

“The books have officially been sent to print, we have a release date, and Grimmy? This is big. Are you sitting down?”

Looking around his kitchen confused as to what was so special about sending the book to print this time around, Nick looked down at where his legs disappeared beneath his table. “Yeah, I’m sitting. Just spit it out already.”

“They want you to do a book tour.”

“I’m sorry, they what?”

Nick had never been asked to do any kind of promoting for his novels. He had a fairly decent following thanks to his blog from the moment he started and nothing huge was ever expected of him, really. He had never expected that this book, one he was so worried would flop, would be the one to finally cause his publisher to want him to go out and show his face to readers.

“A small book tour!” Mary cheered. “It will focus on bookshops that are owned by members of the community or that cater to LGBT specialisations and such, you know. In fact, the same week your book will be released there is going to be an entire literature conference centering around the community and representation in contemporary literature and they’re interested in having you be a part of a panel as well as doing your own individual reading for it, if you’d like. That’s in Manchester, but these are details I wanted to go over with you in person. Think you could come in so we could talk about all of this, lay out a potential schedule for you, and get it all organised?”

“I… mean sure?” Nick said, shaking his head. “When exactly do they want this to happen? And when’s the book to be released? No one had even gotten to me about that yet.”

“Oh, yes, well a lot of this was determined yesterday, and you likely have an email waiting for you from James,” Mary said, and Nick could practically see her waving her hand in the air as she said it. “But, either way, could you make it into the office later this morning? There’s a lot to go over, lots of paperwork. We need to make sure the lawyers can be here to oversee it all.”

Mary was speaking so quickly about things Nick had never experienced before, he was concerned that while he understood all her words and that the sentences made sense, that perhaps he was still misunderstanding her. 

“Sure, love. I can get ready and be over there by eleven. Would that work?”

“Make it ten thirty and I’ll even make sure to have your favourite biscuits. Ta, love!”

Mary rung off, and Nick leaned back in his chair, looking at his phone as if it were alive.

“What the fuck just happened?”

*~~***~~*

Nick shuffled through the rest of the paperwork. His lawyer had finally gotten back to him and said everything looked fine, the publisher had agreed to his terms, and he was ready to sign and make this ridiculous book tour happen.

Ever since Mary had asked him to come in, Nick had been insanely busy. Final approvals were done, but now was usually where Nick could just wait for the news of reviews and the like to come in. More waiting until he’d felt the closure on that book well enough to move on to his next. 

This was something entirely unexpected and unfamiliar. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to working. This was just an entirely different line of work and anxiety and pressure than he was used to. He’d never shown his face in any kind of association with his pen name, and now he was getting ready for that reveal. It wasn’t like a huge number of people would care, but in just a matter of weeks the book would be on the shelves of the select bookstores he would be touring before a wider release two weeks following. Nick had never heard of this, but apparently his publishing company swore by it.

What Nick didn’t understand was why it had to be this one they were making such a big splash about. Why did it have to be the one that felt like he’d taken his entire soul and all of his insecurities and poured them onto the page? Why couldn’t it have been the stupid one about how he accidentally hooked up with his new roommate’s supposedly straight best friend for a (horrible) one-night stand only to learn the lad would be practically living on their sofa that summer? That was funny, at least. This one just made him feel raw and ready for judgement.

Either way, it had been two weeks since he’d found time to stop by the bookshop during working hours. The one time he had been able to go by, Louis hadn’t been working. Nick hadn’t even bothered going inside.

Sighing, Nick shuffled the papers. So much to do and prepare for in so little time. Hopefully he’d be able to make it by Reader’s Alcove to explain himself before the tour kicked off.

Looking down at the upcoming schedule, Nick’s eyes naturally honed in on the very first date, the one he’d so particularly negotiated to be in the contract.  _ Reader’s Alcove. _

Well. Ready or not, he supposed Louis was going to find out soon enough.

*~~***~~*

Nick was really regretting the schedule his publishing company had put him on in order to make sure he wouldn’t make a laughing stock out of them leading up to the tour. They’d not only made sure he’d sufficiently built hype on all his social media channels, but he had done interviews for the usual smaller magazines leading up to the release of the novel as well. 

Now, though, he really wished he hadn’t. Or that he’d at least fought a little harder. Inside the Reader’s Alcove Nick could see Louis, looking nervous at the counter while the bookshop looked completely rearranged in preparation for this silly event where Nick would lay his soul bare.

Taking a deep breath, he did his best to not feel like a ridiculous fool and walked inside for the first time in nearly a month.

“Oh, you decided to return after all,” Louis said, sounding surprised.

Nick offered him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry it’s been so long, things have been crazy, and honestly I won’t be able to make it back for another few weeks at the very least after this either.”

“That’s okay. I’m just glad I didn’t scare you away with my book suggestion last time or anything.”

Nick sharpened his gaze and took in all of Louis’ body language when he said that. He was shuffling his feet, messing with his fringe, and generally looking embarrassed. 

“Why would you think that kind of a book suggestion would scare me way?” Nick asked. “It was wonderful, actually. I was too caught up in all the incredible things you were saying to pull myself together and actually tell you that—”

“Oh, speaking of the book!” Louis interrupted, waving around them. “There’s actually an event here, maybe you’re here for it? That author is coming to do a reading and book signing. We’re hoping to have at least twenty or thirty people here.”

“Oh, God,” Nick said weakly, rubbing his face with his hands. “Yeah, about that—”

Nick was once again interrupted as Mary’s voice filled the small space of the bookshop as the bell over the door rang.

“Nathaniel!” She walked in with a flourish, her rainbow scarves and long black coat billowing behind her. “I’m impressed you beat me, seeing as you’re always late for everything.”

“Nathaniel?” Louis asked, causing Nick to turn back to the beautiful man he had just been preparing to tell the truth to. “But you said…?” Louis’ voice dropped off, leaving the obvious question unspoken.

“Yeah, see, that’s what I was trying to say?” Nick said, rubbing the back of his neck in nervousness. “My real name is Nick Grimshaw, but what I actually do for a living is I write books under a pseudonym? One you’re actually quite familiar with.”

“No,” Louis said, his entire body stiffening and almost visibly shutting Nick out in a way he hadn’t done since the first day Nick had met him. “You can’t be about to tell me you’re Nathaniel Goodall.” 

Nick weakly waved his hands and said, “Surprise?” with the inflection making it abundantly clear he was unsure how well all this was going over.

“Are you telling me you’ve already told the shop owner the truth?” Mary asked, and … _ what? _ Louis owned Reader’s Alcove? “Hello, Louis, it’s wonderful to meet you. I’m Mary, the one sending most of those annoying emails.”

“Very nice to meet you, Mary,” Louis said, walking around the counter to shake her hand but keeping a distance from Nick. “He did tell me the truth, but not until just now, though I’m wishing he’d bothered to tell me earlier.”

“Earlier?” Mary turned to Nick, a smile playing on her lips and her brow arching. “Don’t tell me there’s a reason you were so adamant we come here?”

“Could you not, Mary? I’m still not sure what he thinks about all of this,” Nick whined, nearly stomping his foot. The only thing that kept him from doing so was the fact that Louis was watching his every move. “Yes, he saved me from going mad by providing me with hours of reading material before the insanity your phone call caused, but he knew  _ me, _ so I couldn’t very well leave him in the dark as to why I’m here today. I actually also didn’t realise this was  _ his _ shop.”

The bell rang on the door again indicating someone else had come in, and Louis immediately said, “Welcome to Reader’s Alcove, I’ll be right with you.” Then he turned to Nick, smacked him upside the head. Louis had his usual feisty look, but he also had a slight flush on his cheeks and Nick could practically see his professionalism settling in on him as he prepared to deal with the customer and the upcoming event. “You  _ are _ in deep shit, by the way. I can’t believe you let me just say all of that to you and you didn’t say a word about it. There’s an office in the back that I straightened up for you to prepare as you need before everything kicks off. I’ll take care of things out here, okay?”

Nick nodded dumbly and watched Louis walk in his incredibly form-fitting trousers to the customer who was eyeing the chairs set up as they looked at the new releases and the shelf entirely dedicated to Nick’s newest book.

“Come on, there’s a lot to make sure you don’t fuck up today,” Mary said, taking Nick’s arm and guiding him behind the counter. 

“Yeah, okay,” Nick agreed, following her willingly.

Two hours later, Nick was not as relieved as he should have been. The reading and book signing went off without a hitch. Nick only stumbled over two words as he read, and the questions had all been lovely. He’d thoroughly enjoyed actually speaking with those who showed up, and to his surprise they filled almost every seat, which was far more than he had expected. This was by far the smallest event he would be doing over the next two weeks, and in general he was pleased with how it had all started.

The issue was now that the shop had cleared out again and closed, Nick had to deal with the repercussions of his panicked decisions with Louis.

“I’ll call you later to debrief and go over what could be improved upon for next time, alright? I’ve got to run,” Mary said as she waved and flounced out of the shop.

“So…”

Nick cringed to himself at the sound of Louis’ voice. He quickly scanned the area for observers before turning to face Louis. They were now alone in the shop, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for what was going to happen next.

Nick flashed Louis what he hoped was one of his big, cheesy grins, but he was fairly certain he failed.

Rolling his eyes, Louis folded his arms and popped his hip. “Why’d you let me natter on like I did last time you were here when you were the author?”

Scrunching his nose, Nick ran his hand through his now deflated quiff. “Honestly?” 

Louis nodded.

“I was overwhelmed. Didn’t know how to handle it all.” 

Louis opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but Nick held up his hand, knowing if he didn’t get it all out he’d never be able to. Such was the magic of Louis. 

“No, let me explain, okay?” Nick continued. “I’ve always had my work published under a pseudonym. I’ve been Nathaniel for almost fifteen years now, and never once has anyone who wasn’t my family or a close friend known it was me after I started getting published. I’ve never done book signings or readings or anything like that. Partially because not many people would actually have come to something like that for me before now, and partially because I was fine living in anonymity.”

Nick paused to catch his breath, his heart was racing and he wasn’t sure why he was so nervous about this. He’d told several friends over the years who he was, and it never affected him like this before. Was it because Louis was a fan before he was a friend and the others never had even heard of his books? Was it because Louis was beautiful and Nick would very well like to give him a good snog before dragging him up to his flat? He wasn’t sure. Maybe it was a combination of both. Either way, he was glad Louis was keeping quiet as Nick pulled himself back together.

“Because of that, the anonymity I mean, I’ve never had someone who wasn’t related to me or financially tied to my books give me a compliment on them in person. It always is nice to hear my mum say she enjoyed the latest read or have my best mate tell me she loved how I worked her into a ridiculous anecdote, but it always feels like they’re obligated to compliment me, you know?” 

Louis had an unreadable expression on his face, but he gave a nod, so Nick figured he was good to continue.

“Of course, I needed  _ some _ feedback, so I’d fervently read reviews online and comments on Goodreads, that kind of thing. But it’s different in person. I didn’t know you knew my books existed, much less had read them and liked them enough to recommend them. I was caught off guard and couldn’t pull myself together.”

“You’re an idiot,” Louis said, chuckling. “When you didn’t go to the cafe, I was already worried something was wrong, but then you didn’t come back and I was sure I’d offended you. Come to find out I’d just given you your first genuine compliment and you couldn’t cope.”

“I… well, yeah. That’s a good summary, actually.” Nick widened his eyes and shrugged. “If you haven’t figured out from my books my now, I’m what I believe they call a  _ disaster gay.” _

Louis burst out in a laugh that was so forceful he leaned forward a little, covering his mouth with the back of his hand and his eyes crinkling in the way that Nick had become addicted to over the short time he’d known him. “Yeah, well I could have told you that after you chose that fucking Snooki biography and choked down the coffee you obviously hated next door.”

Nick made a sound of protest. “Excuse you, I loved that coffee!”

“You’re a shit liar,” Louis said, smirking and pointing at Nick before pulling him in for a kiss.

Oh God. Was Nick’s breath sour? He had been so afraid of Louis ripping him apart he hadn’t considered Louis might actually  _ kiss him. _ Not giving Louis a chance to pull back, Nick reciprocated, only breaking the kiss because the bell above the door rang. 

Louis chuckled, smiling with pink cheeks up at Nick before turning and welcoming the customer to the shop. He was so beautiful and smart, and yet he had just kissed Nick. It felt more than surreal.

“Well,” Louis said, turning back to Nick. “I’ve got to get back to work. My shop won’t run on it’s own.”

“That reminds me, why’d you say all that about your boss when we first met if you’re your own boss?”

Going back behind the counter, Louis’ eyes sparkled as he winked. “Well, it’s true. The boss wouldn’t like me being rude to the customers.”

“You’re the worst,” Nick said, and he knew he sounded far too fond.

“I cannot agree to that considering what I just learned about you today,” Louis said, arching his brow.

“Okay, fair,” Nick conceded. “Could I maybe get your number, though? I have one more event in London tomorrow, but then I’ll be faffing about the country as if I’m a real author and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to make it back, but I’d really like another kiss.”

Nick’s stomach was in knots as Louis deliberated. And he took his time doing so. Had he just been playing games when he kissed Nick?

“I suppose that would be fine.”

Nick sighed and handed his phone over so Louis could add himself as a contact.

“You better text within the next day or I’m blocking your number whenever you do bother to reach out,” Louis threatened.

Nick accepted his phone back and crossed his heart with his finger. “Promise.”

If he could hear Louis’ laugh because Nick texted before the door to the shop had closed behind him, it was their secret to share.

*~~***~~*

Much to Nick’s surprise, the book tour was a massive success. It turned out the fans he had accumulated over the years had been itching to learn who he was and more about him. Between his book being so open and the fact he was actually showing his face and talking about exactly how autobiographical it was, they were even more effusive than he’d expected.

By the time the book had its general release, it easily was his best selling story within the first two weeks. It created more buzz than he’d ever experienced, and he found that the buzz generated by it caused his previous works to start selling again as well.

In addition to his surprise success of his book, Nick had never been happier when it came to his personal life as well. He and Louis went on their first date the night he returned to London, and somehow he’d convinced Louis to be his boyfriend just a few short weeks later.

Nick had never had a boyfriend for longer than just a month or two. He’d always figured he’d scared them away with one thing or another, and was well pleased when that wasn’t the case with Louis. 

Now, it was the night before Louis’ birthday, and they were cuddling on the couch while Louis forced him to sit through another disgustingly sappy Christmas film. 

“Hey,” Nick said, pulling Louis’ attention away from the telly. He’d been thinking about asking Louis a particular question from the moment he’d returned from his book tour, but kept putting it off. It was too soon, he’d just say no, be scared off, etc. But now it had been almost three months, and Louis stayed over more often than not anyway. He might as well finish the job and shift what belongings were still at his own flat to Nick’s, right?

“Yeah?” Louis was soft and sleepy and felt like an extension of Nick in his arms. Nick had never been happier.

“Move in with me?” Nick asked quietly.

Louis stuck his tongue out at Nick before turning back to  _ Miracle on 34th Street. _ “Ask me again after the film. This is the best part.”

Rolling his eyes, Nick sighed and pulled Louis even closer to him. “Fine.”

They sat in silence for another ten minutes before Louis turned his head into Nick’s chest and murmured something he couldn’t hear.

“What was that?” Nick asked, trying his best to look down at where Louis was positively burrowing into his jumper.

“I said,” Louis huffed before looking up at Nick, “when do I get my key?”

“As soon as the shops open again,” Nick said, smiling widely. 

“Meeting the family for Christmas and then moving in together,” Louis said, contentedly. “Happy birthday to me.”

Nick hummed, kissed the top of Louis’ head, then settled back into the sofa to hopefully doze off for the rest of the film. Happy Christmas to himself as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! If you did, I'd appreciate a cheeky kudos or a nice comment, and don't forgot to read, support, and love all the other authors who wrote as a part of this amazing exchange! You can also reblog the fic post [here](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/189898656188/youre-a-nightmare-im-a-disaster-by-lululawrence).


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